


Omen is not allow JC Penny Rights forever

by EldriitchBones



Category: Hello From The Hallowoods (Podcast)
Genre: JC Penny, crackfic, i dont know what i'm doing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:19:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29600256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EldriitchBones/pseuds/EldriitchBones
Summary: Omen has to get his boyfriend slippers!!!!!! In the terrifying JC PEnny!!!!!! Will they be able to acquire a gift for their anniversary or will the wonders of the fancy little shoppe win out????????
Relationships: Polly/Omen
Kudos: 3





	Omen is not allow JC Penny Rights forever

**Author's Note:**

> You ask and I shall deliver, William. I am so so sorry.

She had called them Omen, a reckoning upon the tongues and hearts of those that hear their name and sputter in fear of violation of the Downing Hill Public Library’s multitude of rules that must be followed. 

And they had to shop for their boyfriend at JC Penny because the birds did not know the difference in luxury brands and the JC PEnny. The JC Penny should not be scary to a person made of little black birds. 

The travelling was not hard for the multiple birds, after all they could fly!

”Fly, my pretty bird, fly, fly!” Pollie had screeched, throwing them out the 16 story building. Omen panicked before they realized they could fly. They forgot they were bird some times and that waas embarrassing

Poggers didn;t know what they were going to do, but they needed groceries like cheese. Oom would also picked up cheese after purchasing fancy new suede slippers with a satin embellishment for their boyfriend.n 

Oleman finally reachedd the Penny of Jesus Christ adn flew through the open window, knocking over multiple displays that said things like “do you need cheese?” “how about some beans?” “no we know what yuo’re here for, my feathered friend, you are here for todays special!” “Today;s special is icecreams filled with worms. You like worms dont you birdie?”

Those signs were not meant for them, they thought. They were too specific and signs meant for you are never specific to what you want, guys, come on!

There were lots of signs not meant for the Sign themself. That wasn’t fair, no specials at JC Pennyworth. That was disappointing. They needed a nice deal for fancy expensive slippers. Poglie did not like cheap things, what a pretentious bastard he was, but he was pretty adn taht was all. 

Omlet walked with birds as feet and legs and saw the spiraling spaces between item racks, hoping that feet adn legs were a suitable option for traversing the endless spirals existing within the boundless walls of expensive JC PEns. it was spooky but they had a mission, yes, a mission that had to success. Yes, Polo got very whiny when upset and that was a very tough situation to deal with sometimes. 

The spirals came closer, making vorpal sounds like “VORP VORP VORP VORP WEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOO VORP VORP”. Hopefully they werent sentient and trying to communicate. Sometime that happened with things you think are just there, they are actually sentient. Omegle did not know the spiral language and so they ignored it and tried not to cry.

Things inside the spiral were spiralling and falling everywhere. It was normal for things to do this in a spiral, especially in bad stores like JP Cenny. You had to catch things and hope they were what you wanted because you could not let go otherwise people would stare at you and think you were unappreciative of the Spiral Beings that had gifted you with the items they thought you needed. 

Ogleheart was crying when they saw that a blue haired person was avoiding grabbing things, the birds had grabbed a lot on accident and as a reflex, falling things scared them a little bit and they didnt want anything to break. The blue haired person was Olivier, they knew. They were running through the spiral, ziggy zaggying through the items being chucked at them form the void because they knew how to escape holding items. Omeme was jelly of them because they had a lot holding. 

Olimbier started making their way to the fancy slippers Omeein had seen, THOSE WERE THE ONES FOR POGGY WOGGY. THEY COULD NOT BE ACQUIRED BY A FELLOW LIBRARY PERSON WHO LOVED BOOKS AND ALSO BEING MORALLY GREY AND DUBIOUS. NOT ALLOWED IT WAS AGAINST RULES. Omeo fell into multiple birds and flew to grab the shoesies with their beaks before the weather person got them., All the birds were crying and screaming. It was distracting and it upset the Spiral Gods. 

Omed bit Olivebranch on the elbow, at least 2 ravens trying to hold the adversary off. The many many other ravens flew to the shoes and tried to wear them on their heads but Omehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaahhhhhhhhhhhhahhahhhahhhahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhn had not materialized feet yet again. The bird person screeched like many ravens (this was not normally the case) and left behind a person who was flashing with lightning and angering the Spiral JC PENNY GODS. 

Flf flf flf flf flf flf flf flf flf flf flf flf flf flf 

those were the sounds of the 1000000000 birds in a single tattered trench coat trying to walk with not normal legss towards the SPiral God Jesus Christ Penny counter. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM yes at last the purchase. 

Amended did not have money, they realised. Polly schmolly kept the money because he liked taking pictures with it. The bird person stuffed the JC Pennilog employee and the nice nice nice NOICEEEEEE slippers into their trenchcoat and started to fly off as the Spiral Gods of Jay See Pehnnie yelled out the void filled windows to give them their cherished employee named Rick Circle back. The himbo was kinda heavy in a trench coat filled with birds, but you know, Polly liked pretty himbos so maybe they could have dinner after the slippers were gifted for their anniversary. 

Ricky Sphere did not like the energy in the chili’s tonight, but he did like the comforting feeling of ravens surrounding him. 

Omin flew into the many windows of the castle and quickly gift wrapped Pollyeieeieie’s gift in some nice gift wrapping paper made of paper glue and paper and many sprinkles. 

Tonight was gonna be nice with all the candles and chunks of bird feed.


End file.
